Slow down, you move too fast.

Last night, I was watching one of my favorite shows, Supernanny (another show my husband won't watch). For those of you unfamiliar with the fabulous Jo, she is a British nanny who, on a weekly basis, visits a family having trouble with specific childrearing issues such as, discipline, potty training or bedtime. During this particular episode, Jo was visiting a family with five children, each of whom was in four after school activities. The parents, well, the mother mainly, were exhausted and the kids were horrible, sibling slapping, back-talking nightmares and they turned to Jo for help. The answer amazingly, was your kids are doing too damn much. I know! Can you believe this idiot Brit thought these parents should actually spend some time with their children instead of only seeing their faces in the rearview mirror of a moving vehicle on the way from one activity to the next?

As you can tell, this issue makes my blood boil. When did it become derigeur to have your children enrolled in a million activities once they emerge from the womb? My oldest was barely six months old and other moms were asking me what classes she was taking. Gymboree? Little Gym? Music Together? While all of these are wonderful programs, I felt that my time was best spent hanging out getting to know my new daughter, at least until she could sit up.

A few months later I caved in, signed up for a class at a local gym and the stress began. First, was the issue of time. Once I signed up for the ten o'clock class and gave them my money, my daughter changed her nap schedule and wanted to sleep then. Damn kids and their need for rest. So twice a week I had to try and gently rouse her from her sleep, get her in the car and in the mood for an hour of screeching by an over-caffeinated, frustrated gymnast. You can guess how well that went. Rather than enjoying this time with my kid I was beating myself up for how tired she was.

My second source of stress was of the comparison variety. Why wasn't she smiling as much as the dopey kid in the hat? Why didn't she want to crawl across the balance beam like Madison - the bald, toothless, Nadia Comaneci-wannabe? Was my kid retarded? This is what these classes do. They stick your kid in with a bunch of other droolers and get you to stick around by talking about "development" and how only you can help your child be the best they can be. How you are solely responsible for whether or not she gets a fat envelope or a skinny envelope from Harvard eighteen years from now.

The stress only gets worse as your kids get older. It seems every kid I know is in at least two after-school activities and they're only five. I feel like a freak because my kid does one that meets once a month. I just don't have it in me to drag all three kids all over town to make to ballet on time, giving them their dinner in the car. Everyone told me when I had my third that he'd have to be flexible and learn to sleep anywhere. Well, actually, no. I make sure he gets most of his naps in his crib like his sisters did. And if that means someone doesn't take a three o'clock karate class, the world won't end.

Before I sound like I'm denying my kids experiences they desire, let me assert my kids don't seem all that enthused about all this crap anyway. When my oldest took soccer last fall, at my insistence, she stood in the middle of the field and cried. Frankly, the girls enjoy being home and while that might make them socially stunted, under-achievers in the eyes of some, it makes them kids to me. My girls love playing with each other. Yesterday they played some kind of game I was not privy to that involved both of them wearing (clean) underpants on their heads. They would never have time to participate in this kind of imaginary play if every afternoon was spent running all over town. Never mind that they get a chance to rest and eat a decent meal after school. Never mind homework. With one worksheet a night I'm a stress case.

My point is, let's let kids be kids. Having nothing to do helped me to become the person I am, and I think I turned out OK. How can we expect our kids to be calm, creative thinkers when they are being over-stimulated and are under-rested? The mileage on your minivan does not translate to SAT points no matter what people try to tell (sell) you. Time with you and each other is what kids need and want. That, and they, will be gone before you know it.