My husband is having an affair. I can tell something is going on because he is walking around with a glassy look in his eyes and is distractedly carrying on conversations with me as he surfs the web. No, this affair is not with a woman. It is with a television - a forty two inch LCD flat screen to be exact - that we purchased last night (but did not install, hence the obsessive web-surfing about proper technique). She has already been christened and her name is Old Glory.
For those of you who know me, and my love of television, it's probably pretty surprising to learn that I have fought the fight against this behemoth for so long. You would think I would enjoy watching Survivor and The Amazing Race is sharp detail obsessed as I am with these shows, but I have been quite happy with our little twenty seven inch Toshiba. Hell, I even thought that was too big. The issue I have is not with TV, obviously, but with the invasion of technology into every aspect of our lives and these large TV's represent all the evil that entails.
The gargantuan televisions of today can not even be put in a cabinet that closes for Christ's sake! We live in a very small house and, in addition to feeling that having this TV in our shack is akin to driving a Hummer and living in a trailer, the TV dominates what is our only room for socializing with other adults. With no cabinet to hide it how hard will it be to resist the siren song, "Wouldn't it be more fun to see what's on instead of trying to come up with conversation?" Nothing is a bigger buzzkill than TV at a party. It disturbs me that people mount them on walls so they can never be hidden - even over fireplaces replacing works of art or crappy family portraits. It is going to be exponentially more difficult to have the daily no-you-can't-watch-another-episode-of-Dora fight with my kids with the shadow of this beast looming over my children as they play.
It's not only the size of today's TVs that disturbs me, but the fact that they are everywhere no matter what the size. My oldest one has already suggested that the old TV be put in the room she shares with her sister once Daddy gets his "big TV" - as you can tell, my husband launched a grassroots campaign months ago. Over my cold, dead body. Again, you would think with my love of the tube I'd have one in every room, but I am vehemently opposed to TV in the bedroom, especially for my kids. Aside from making it more difficult to monitor what they watch, I want my kids to play the underpants game and engage in other silliness when in their rooms. And my bedroom is for sleep and other extracurricular activities and while neither are happening much lately with a new baby I can imagine how much less would occur if Jeff Probst permanently took up residence there.
Don't even get me started on TV in cars. I got in a taxi last month and there was TV on the back of the driver's seat! We can't even go a few city blocks without some entertainment. When we bought our van, we had to buy the lower-grade package with only one automatic door because the next level model came with a DVD player - I'd rather it came with a crack dealer. I can not imagine if every single time I got in the car I had to have an argument over whether my kids would watch a show in the five minutes it takes to drive to the post office. Is there a prescription for Xanax included in the lease?
All of this entertainment everywhere does have some good aspects. Long plane flights are more tolerable when you can watch episodes of 30 Rock on direct TV, but what ever happened to reading a book? I think I read five on my flight to Egypt ten years ago after watching the movie - on one screen people! - they offered which I'm sure was something fabulous like Money Train. I want my kids to play dumb backseat games together when they're in the car on long trips. I can still remember kicking my sister's ass at Hangman (sorry K, but you know it's true) and playing Mr. Chinagin. And while I'm sure it will make me have to scream "Don't make me come back there!" way more than I want to I like that a hell of a lot more than looking back at three comatose faces staring at a screen with drool running down their chins.
I am happy for my husband. I haven't seen him this excited about a purchase since we got the dog (also too big). I do have my trepidations about this thing being in my house, but I'll deal with them. If I have to hang a bed sheet over the damn thing when we have guests over, so be it. I will continue to fight the fight of keeping my kids unplugged and interacting even if it drives me to drink (that's not a far trip these days). Let's just hope my husband remembers I gave in about size years from now when we're in a position to be shopping for diamonds...
3 comments:
hangman is for losers!
mr. chinagin!
I totally see where you're coming from, Mare. I too was concerned about my husband oogling a 42"-er but things worked out. We found a TV stand from Crate and Barrel that had a an attachment piece that housed the screen. I immediately filled up the entire wall unit with books. Something had to balance the the monstrosity of technology staring at us.
The flat screen is going to rock your world. I openly admit movie watching is more fun and "Lost" on our own big screen is so much more entertaining. WIth that said, I stand strong with the "no TV in the kids' bedroom". That space should be all about creativity. Whether it be the underpants game or my childhood fav, hide the booger (where my sister or I would paste a booger on one of my many teen beat posters of TV hotties like Chad Allen or Michael J. Fox and then we'd have to find it) kids still need to entertain themselves.
Happy Viewing!
Well I hear ya sista. I was eight months pregnant and came raging out one sunday morning when I couldn't take another weekend morning of the children complaining that they wanted to "watch a show" while Nick ignored this request and watched another episode of dirty jobs or the history of the hamburger. When I suggested buying a small TV for the toy room Nick shot up from the couch announcing that he would get a new TV and the kids could have the 27 incher for themselves. Off to circuit city we went with my husband's eyes spinning in his head. Well we purchased a 50 inch flat screen projection TV. Needless to say it didn't fit in the car with us - so he zoomed us home, picked up the TV, rebuilt and painted our built-in bookcase so the TV could be up and running by 5am the next morning! WHEW! I was not happy with this black box staring at me all day but I came to a conclusion. That as we move forward as a family when we make large purchases these need to be things that bring us together as a family. The kids thought it was very cool and we have enjoyed many movie nights since going to a movie theatre with a one year old isn't too much fun. This has also stopped the requests for a TV in their
bedroom . I have told my kids they can give up on that - along with a cell phone or computer in their room - it'll never happen. So embrace it and good luck with the never ending requests of "another show". Stay strong with no TV in the car - I too am highly opposed!
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