Well, actually, I want to have another wedding. After accompanying my future sister in-law to her dress fitting on Saturday, I was overwhelmed by the desire to have another wedding. My wedding (pictured left) was the happiest day of my life. Yeah, yeah, I'm the devil because I'm not saying that about the days I gave birth to my three kids, but I consider the days the kids were born as the most life-altering in a "Oh, YAY! But, Jesus, now what?" kind of way. Your wedding is all about pure, unadulterated, selfish, we-are-the-best-couple-on-the-planet joy. Yes, planning a wedding is stressful, there is a whole television genre now devoted to documenting how difficult it is, but there are so many wonderful things about weddings that I think it entirely unfair that you only get one.
You get to have a huge party. My wedding, while not huge (120 people), was big enough to have everyone I love together in the same room. Sure, there were a few duds thrown in, business associates of my father's, creepy third cousins, but for the most part, every time I turned around I was genuinely delighted by who I saw. The room was full of people I wanted to talk to and every time I hit the dance floor I was surrounded by my friends. I know some people prefer small weddings, but there was something so great about seeing my best friend and my mother's best friend dancing to "I Will Survive".
The other fabulous part about this party is, you get to pick everything. It's like a day-of-our-favorite-things. You get to pick what foods you want served, what drinks will be poured and what music will be played. I love Donna Summer's "Last Dance", but hate when it is actually played as the last dance. Just as you are really getting your groove on they throw on the lights and hand you your coat? Not cool. So it was played in the middle of my wedding and I loved every minute of it. We wanted pigs in blankets and antipasto, so we served them at the cocktail hour. I think even on a budget, even at a backyard wedding, you should get to have what you want as a couple because it's all for you. How great is that?
Now to reassure you that I am not entirely shallow, I want to have another wedding to celebrate, again, how awesome I think my husband and I are as a couple. A wedding is a celebration of the fact that two people have chosen each other out of all the other people in the world to go through the life with. You get to say to the people you love, this is the person who makes me happy and makes me stronger. This is the person I want to face the challenges of life with. A wedding is the day you say to your partner, "You and me against the world. Okay?"
I now understand why people have vow renewals. If you've made it fifty years why shouldn't you have another huge party that has all these great aspects? But now that I think about it, what I don't want is another wedding. Weddings are about promises concerning the unknown. I think what I'd really like now isn't even a vow renewal, I don't need to chose my husband again, he knows he's mine. What I think I'd like sometime in the future is a "thank you ceremony". Where my husband I get to stand up in front of all those people again and say thank you for keeping your promises, or at least trying really hard to. Thank you for still choosing me after all I've put you through. Thank you for the life we have made together. And while I'm at it, I'd like to be saying all of this while wearing my original wedding dress.
1 comment:
Loved how you summed up your wedding day. Brides-to-be should read this entry to remind themselves it's a day to celebrate , not get obsessed with the details. Too many times brides say they didn't have fun on their wedding day b/c they had to make sure everything was going smoothly.
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