(Yeah, yeah, I stole the title from Sex and the City)
Happy New Year! One of my resolutions this year is to take more time to post on this blog. I'm not sure if it'll stick, but here's hopin'.
Speaking of resolutions, I have decided to make mine all about positive things rather than negative ones. I'm tired of hearing people make resolutions that are really insults directed at themselves. Lose weight - translation - I'm fat. Get organized - translation - I'm a mess. Drink less - translation - do not wind up with lampshade on head at company Christmas party. My resolution is to be kinder to myself. Rather self-indulgent, I know, but I feel that women, as a group, spend entirely too much time focusing on what they "should" do instead of what they want to do. In fact, I would like to remove the word "should" entirely from the English language.
The Oxford English dictionary defines should as being "used to express duty or obligation." Bleh. Who the hell wants to use a word like that with such alarming frequency? I think I'm rather addicted to it actually. Should has replaced any other verb in so many circumstances in my life sucking the joy out of times and things that should make me happy. "I should read to the girls for at least fifteen minutes every day." This makes what would normally be an enjoyable task - sitting and spending time with my children - a burden, an item to be crossed off a list. Instead of focusing on the happiness this would bring me the word "should" makes me focus on the obligation I feel to my girls. "I should exercise" means undertaking the Herculean task of chaining myself to the treadmill while "I think I'll workout" makes me envision having a good little jog to some of Madonna's greatest hits.
My should addiction also forces me to do things that really don't contribute much to my life. Like there is this cosmic judge who, when I die, will determine my worth by the amount of time I spent cleaning my bathroom or organizing my linen closet. For example, how many times have I been playing with my kids or trying to post on this blog and have said to myself, "I should really vacuum this floor because it's covered in dog hair and pulverized Goldfish." Really? Why should I? Am I bad person because my floor doesn't look like it just starred in a Swiffer commercial? No, but I'll flagellate myself about it anyway.
So, to hell with you Should! Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Use your shackles of guilt on another patsy! I'll do what I think I need to do or want to do and be done with it. Now I really should go fold some laundry...
1 comment:
You're so right about that damn word "should", Mary. As lame as it sounds, ridding it from your vocabulary feels exciting and liberating. I think I'll try it myself.
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