On a more positive note, summer is in full swing. My brood and I have already begun living by The Summer Commandments, and that means numerous trips to the library. Is there anything better than going to the library with your children in the summer - leisurely wandering the stacks with them, reminiscing about books you loved as a kid, or being introduced yourself to the wonderful new books that have been written since you were a child? I rejoiced when #2 decided to read Harriet the Spy, a story about a plucky, independent little girl with an active imagination who fancies herself the neighborhood secret agent. My eldest and I both were intrigued by the premise of her choice, Fever 1793, in which the main character is a pre-teen girl struggling to survive in yellow fever-ravaged colonial Philadelphia. And this is what Little Man chose:
There is no book I hate more than, No, David! by David Shannon.* The main character, based on the author one is to suppose, is an ill-behaved little boy who spends the entire book being scolded by his mother who, based on her lack of effectiveness, is nothing but a figure head. And this is when I scream to the heavens, "WHERE ARE ALL THE BOOKS FOR BOYS????"
Having two girls first, in my experience with the characters of modern children's literature, female lead characters are all pretty similar to Olivia of the famous Ian Falconer book series - a spunky female pig who marches to her own drum, but is kept in line by the firm, yet gentle, limits set by her exhausted parents. Now I'm stuck with David the nose-picking hater of pants with a lame duck of a mother.
In my search for a decent book to read to my son, I have stumbled upon two categories of characters, none of which are fulfilling my needs. No, David!, is of the "bad boy" category. In that ill-behaving fraternity are Max of Where the Wild Things Are as well as Alexander of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Those two books are classics, and I do enjoy reading them to some extent, but why are these boys so angry? Actually, Alex seems clinically depressed. I get it, a little rebellion is entertaining to kids, but at least Olivia sits in her room contritely after she tries to make an imitation Jackson Pollack painting in her bedroom. I want to smack Max in his scowling little face. And another sucker of a mother in that book. She caves and gives the little shit his dinner after all without so much as an apology from him.
The other category of characters are not even human or, at least, regular boys. I call these books the "turn little boys into something else" books. I swear fully half of the books written for little guys feature either pirates or anthropomorphic vehicles and dinosaurs. Yes, some level of fantasy is good, even Olivia imagines she is one of Degas' ballerinas, so I can sort of get behind How I Became a Pirate (illustrated, coincidentally, by David Shannon), but again, pirates glorify bad behavior so they can almost be put in the "bad boy" category. Why can't it be How I Became a Firefighter? Or How I Became a Professional Athlete with No Gambling, Violence or Substance Abuse Problem?
The vehicle and dinosaur books almost don't even count, as humanizing them is generally used as a tool to educate the reader about non-fiction information, such as in the book I Stink!:
The most well known has to be the How Do Dinosaurs series. Let's be honest, we all thank Jane Yolen for penning those thinly-veiled brain-washing books. "How does a dinosaur say goodnight when Papa comes in to turn off the light? Does a dinosaur stomp his feet on the floor and shout, 'I want to hear one book more?'" Little Man looks at me like, "Um, yes...Wait, no...No, right?" With leading question and answers related to eating, school and playtime, skillfully hidden in a book starring your son's favorite prehistoric creatures, you might wind up with a Stepford son after all.
Then there's this marketer's dream:
It's like the children's book version of Alien vs. Predator. It's crap, but it sells.
The only two human, boy characters I have found I can stand so far are Peter of Ezra Jack Keat's books The Snowy Day, Peters' Chair and Goggles and Harold of Harold and the Purple Crayon. Both boys are kind souls with adventurous spirits, but both of these books are older than I am, so they lack a certain relevance to my son's life. Peter is sent to get milk for his mother at age five for Peter's sake! Harold, judging by his manual dexterity, must be at least five, but is bald like an infant and still wears footy pajamas.
Where is my son's Olivia?????
The reason I get so mad about this discrepancy is I fear it will erode my son's taste in books. How will I get him interested in Encyclopedia Brown when he cut his reading teeth on David's jackassery? We are raising a generation of boys who have been fed a literary diet of fast food so why do we expect their tastes to miraculously change once they hit the upper grades? Have you seen the Captain Underpants series? It gives me a rash. Maybe the problem is the majority of children's book authors are women and they don't feel qualified to write for little boys. Or maybe publishers don't think these types of books will sell. I know I'd buy as many as they'd put out there.
In any case, let me put it out there. Please, children's authors, PLEASE, can one of you come up with a male character who is strong, smart, and sensitive? One who makes no reference to bodily functions or sasses his mother. One who likes sports and music and gets along with his little sister. Maybe even follow Falconer's lead and throw in a some artistic and cultural references.
Can someone please write about a kid we actually want our sons to be like?
Thanks.
*I do love some of his other books such as, Duck on a Bike and Too Many Toys, but, man, that David sucks.
