It's Friday!

Well, at least for me. Sorry to rub it in, dear readers, but tomorrow hubby and I leave for three fabulous, child-free days to celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary so this is my last day of "work" this week.

I can't believe we've been married ten years. It seems like our wedding, pictured left, was yesterday. I don't just mean that in terms of time, I mean in terms of how I feel about Hubby. I am not only still as ridiculously, head over heels in love with him as I was the day I married him, but with all we've gone through in the last decade (a freakin' decade!) I can honestly say I love him even more. And while marriage can be a lot of work, when it works, it is the best of all things. So to honor marriage and Hubby this "Friday's" list...

Top Ten Things That are Awesome About Being Married

5. You get to look ugly sometimes and your spouse doesn't care. One of the benefits of being in such a long-term partnership is your spouse has your overall appearance track record to refer to on days when you are still in your baby-vomit-covered pj's at five o'clock , you haven't washed your hair in three days, and you're still carrying fiftteen pounds of baby weight. I know there must be days my husband looks at me and says, "Jeez...", but he never says anything and I thank him for that. I try not to take this acceptance for granted though and doll myself up once in a while. Its' all worth it when we're at playground and I see him looking at another mother who is, perhaps, not looking her best and he says, "Thank you."

4. Another benefit of marriage that I rely on, perhaps too often, is you have someone who is legally bound to take your crap. We all have peccadilloes, but this person knew all of yours and then agreed to spend the rest of their life with you regardless. Hubby took me for better or worse and my worse includes a bad temper, a big mouth when I drink, an addiction to vacuuming, and a love of reality television. He has bad habits too, which I will not list here, few as they are (you can thank me later, H) and I'll take the whole package, thank you.

3. On a practical note, you have someone who has to help you with gross things. Now, I don't mean cleaning out the bottom of a scuzzy garbage can, which they should be doing as well, but I mean gross personal things. I will truly embarrass myself and give you a prime example.

WARNING TO PARENTS/IN-LAWS READING - THE FOLLOWING IS VERY GRAPHIC.

While I was pregnant with daughter #1, I was not yet savvy in the ways in which pregnancy slows down the digestive tract and had not begun eating the mass amounts of fiber cereal I did with my other two kids. Needless to say, I became ridiculously constipated. I called the nurse at the OB's office in excruciating pain after four days of not going only to be told you can not take laxatives during pregnancy. My only option... an enema. A WHAT? Yup, an enema. So after the humiliating task of procuring one from my local drug store I greeted hubby after work by informing him of the task that lay ahead.

For those of you who have never had the joy of having an enema, you have to put the tip of this plastic bottle into your butt and then squeeze all of the liquid into said orifice. And all of this has to be done while on all fours next to the toilet. Sweet! Imagine the scene as I kneel there, trying not to die of embarrassment as I stick my butt in Hubby's face and he prepares to stick this thing in. What then happens is we both die laughingwhich only makes it worse because apparently your butt clenches up when you laugh.

Me: "Stop poking me already!"
Hubby: "Stop laughing then."
Me: "I caaaan't" (Rolling around on floor laughing.)

Needless to day, three babies later, I have no more qualms about Hubby seeing my butt than I do having him see my unshaven legs. Not pleasant, but what are you gonna do? The point is, it's his job to do the gross things I can't do for myself and I will return the favor. I just hope there's no more butt-poking involved.

2. Hubby and I have our own private language. I don't mean we speak Italian or French, but we have our own slang terms and gestures for things that make communicating in public about private things easier. While I, of course, can not divulge details lest I need to talk about one of you to him in your presence one day, an innocuous example is, when walking down the street, if someone is walking to closely behind us I will simply say, "I have something in my shoe." This means we step to the side and I pretend to fix my shoe while Mr. Up-Our-Butts (am I obsessed with butts today?) goes on his way and we are free to return to our leisurely pace. It takes time to develop this system of communication, but it is very effective.

1. The number one, top thing about being married is you always have a soft place to land. Someone who won't judge you for your mistakes, but help you correct them. A person who sees you as your best version of yourself even when you're not behaving in such a manner. I read an article the other day in which the author mocked women who think their husbands are their best friends. And while agree my relationship with my best girlfriends is different from that with my husband, if it wasn't Hubby I wanted to tell first when something good or bad happens, I'd be worried about the state of our marriage. To put it simply, I know he always has my back.

So wish me bon voyage, dear readers, as if I could have anything but that. Tomorrow is our actual anniversary and I'm as excited about this trip as I was about our honeymoon ten years ago. But instead of piles of gifts and envelopes stuffed with money, I'll be returning to three small children and a messy house. I guess I'll keep 'em though, they're pretty good gifts for ten years of marriage. Besides, they didn't come with a receipt.