Love in the Time of Technology

Let me paint a picture for you. It's scene that has played out again and again in my house at approximately six thirty each weeknight.

While I'm cleaning up the kids' dinner I look at the clock and realize that, shortly, it will be time for baths. There are two ways this can be done, with or without assistance. "With assistance" means I bathe the baby, put on his pj's then imprison him in the Exersaucer while I put the other two in the tub to marinate since hubby will be home soon and he'll do the actual washing of the girls while I nurse the baby and put him to bed. "Without assistance" means I put all three of them in the tub, wash the baby while trying to prevent his sisters from drowning him in their efforts to "help", then remove (read:rescue) the baby from the tub and get him dressed while I keep listening to the chaos in the bathroom that assures me one of the girls hasn't drowned. Yes, I am a bad, bad mother for leaving my almost four year old and my almost six year old unattended in a bathtub, but I am also the mother of three children and until they perfect that cloning thing, I have no choice. Then I return to the bathroom, plop #3 in the 'saucer, and finish washing the girls. Which scenario seems easier to you? Exactly. So this is why I am a raving lunatic when my husband does not call me by six thirty each night to tell me whether or not I have to run the gauntlet alone or he'll be home to help.

Why does he not call, you ask? A very good question. First of all, hubby hates the phone, but aside from that, he tells me the cell service on New Jersey Transit is shoddy, at best, and he hates sitting next to some poor guy screaming into his Blackberry, "Whaaaat? Can you hear me?" While I did think this service excuse was a load of crap at first, I came to realize it must be true if the alternative is to take the verbal beating I deliver each time he doesn't call. It got to the point where he would call and just say, "six thirty-five", meaning the time he would get home, since we were never sure how long the connection would last. Then, in his typically male way, he decided e-mailing me, without telling me he would, was the best solution because his Blackberry would send the message as soon as it got a signal. Well, unlike him, I don't spend the witching hour (six to seven thirty, the worst part of the day) with the kids plopped in front of the TV while I'm in the basement on the computer, so I never got said e-mail and ripped his face off as usual upon his seven o'clock arrival.

But suddenly, there is a glimmer of hope. And that glimmer is reflecting off my very own, brandy-new, sparkly-red BLACKBERRY! This piece of technology has singled handedly changed the face of my marriage. Yeah, yeah, I am a bit of a Ludite when it comes to technology, but this little wonder has brought my husband and I closer. It not only solved our bath time problem, since now I just check it periodically during dinner to see if he's contacted me, but now we can send each other stupid messages during the day without the time investment of a phone call. OK, that sounds bad, he still calls to check in, but now hubby doesn't really need to go through the whole, "Hi, how are you? How are the kids?" thing when all he wants to say is, "I just heard the term 'tramp stamp' - hilarious!" Or I can shoot a quick message to say, "I hate Kathy Lee Gifford." It's like we're passing notes in class!

My BB has also helped on the weekends when we're apart like when he takes the kids to the park. I tend to forget to pass on bits of helpful info that make the day run more smoothly so now I can quickly write him, "Make sure you're in the car by one forty-five so the baby doesn't fall asleep on the ride home and screw up his nap." and he sees it right away instead of having to spend ten minutes pressing thirty buttons to access his voice mail while pushing one kid on the swings and chasing after another.

So let me highly recommend a Blackberry to all couples out there. While I still stand firm on my rules regarding turning technology off when you are actually together, and not using it for recreational purposes when with the kids, I have changed my opinion that Blackberry owners are all self-important, tech obsessed, family-ignoring boobs. This little gem has brought a new spark into my marriage. I never thought something battery-operated could make such a difference in my relationship. NO, not that either, perverts. I know you were thinking that...