As a parent I spend a lot of time telling my kids what to do, when to do it and how to do it. The other day, as we were running late, I was screaming at my oldest to put on her shoes for the fifth time and I thought to myself, "Why the hell doesn't she listen the first time?" When I really looked at the situation, it dawned on me that it really can suck to be a kid. My daughter was happily watching Sesame Street, but because we have to leave the house at 8:15 she doesn't get to watch the whole thing. I'd be reticent to peel my eyes away from my favorite show too if I never got to watch it. So this Friday, I am putting myself in my kids' shoes.
Top 5 Things that Suck About Being a Kid
5. Gym class - I thank my personal gods every day that I do not have to suffer the indignity of being picked for a team ever again. Whether it be the dreaded dodgeball or soccer, it's the same popularity contest all over the world. It might be fun to travel back in time and see how your position in the pecking order is directly proportional to your likelihood of winding up a bloated, alcoholic, has-been who thinks high school were the best days of your life.
4. Clothes - Imagine having someone else choose your clothes for you. Sure, I give my kids the obligatory, "Pants or skirt?" choice all the parenting magazines tell me makes them feel more in control of their lives, blah, blah, blah, but really, I'm the one buying the clothes so I'm defining the pool from which they pick. I personally suffered from this until I reached middle school as my mother really had terrible taste in clothing coupled with the fact that we were on a tight budget and Old Navy hadn't been invented yet - the pickin's were slim at Sears. Every time I buy something for my girls I think about what it says about them. While I stand firm on my ban on bare mid-drift (it happens, even in kindergarten) and animal print anything (#1 daughter has a friend with a leopard print skirt and jean jacket with matching trim - a teenage pregnancy in the making if you ask me) I don't want to dress her so conservatively she's considered a dork. I'll enjoy this unquestioned authority while I can though since I can hear the arguments already, "But Madison's mom let's her wear it..."
3. Bedtime - If someone came up to me right now and said, "Enough writing, it's time for bed." I'd tell them to go screw. That's what my kids must feel like every night when I tell them it's time for lights out. Imagine not being able to watch another Law & Order re-run just because I feel like it and yes, I know I'm going to be tired tomorrow, but who cares? I'm surprised there's not a riot from the bunk beds every night.
2. Homework - I still, to this day, have nightmares that I'm back in school and have some paper due that I have not written or test I haven't studied for. I think that's supposed to mean something psychologically. Perhaps that I'm a control freak who feels overwhelmed living in a uncontrollable environment such as raising three kids? Nah, couldn't be. While I do entertain the idea of going back to school, I dread the idea of homework and tests. Remember that sinking feeling when you hadn't studied or done the homework? The smell of a #2 pencils still gives me the jitters.
1. Food - I've already confessed that I'm a rabid foodie so imagine what a theater of pain it would be every day having someone else tell me what to eat. "Finish your peas or no cookies." I hate peas, screw you! What about those Sundays we all have, usually hungover, when we just decide to eat crap all day because we feel like it. Life would be very bleak indeed, without those days. Having someone else tell me when I've had enough cake (there's never enough cake) or that I can't eat that whole box of Cap'n Crunch? No, really, I'll decide when I'm done.
Maybe by thinking this way I am actually doing what the magazines say and empathizing, at least a little, with how difficult it must be to have no control over your own life. Everyone reminisces about how great it was to be a kid with the carefree days and ability to determine your own sleep schedule, but I think, on the balance, I prefer being an adult with control of my own choices. Especially since I no longer have to wear an over-sized red sweatshirt with paw prints all over it paired with matching leggings and eat peas before doing a book report and going to bed after The Muppet Show.
2 comments:
The thing I'm most thankful for is no longer stressing about school lunchtime: the unorganized hour of the day when it's up to you to decide who you sit with and what you talk about.
I still get sick thinking about those days when the cafeteria table of girls I wanted to sit with was full or the fear I felt knowing I had to brace another lunch period that none of my friends had.
I'm so thankful to eat lunch in a public place without feeling like a loser if I'm alone.
#2! Mary I still have that awful feeling that something is due and I am late handing it in - oh the pressure of school work. And if we think we had alot - its nothing compared to what these kids have - trust me Gabriella's 10 PAGE review packet of the early history of NY looked like a high school report.
No thank you!
Sasha
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