I saw this phrase in an advertisement for some magazine and was really struck by it. I have no idea what the actual article was about - it was on the cover of Mens' Health - but it made me think, "Who is my other me?". I think we all have different versions of ourselves inside of us and they shape the person we show to the outside world. By the choices we make in life we decide which version of ourselves comes to be and I started to think about all the other Marys that exist in me.
I can say with complete honesty that all of my Marys* are married to my hubby because he makes me a better person no matter what situation I'm in. Some of my other Marys though, decided not to have children. Shocking, I know from someone whose full-time job is taking care of her kids. I love my kids to death and could not imagine, in reality, my life without them, but sometimes I think my life could have gone completely in the other direction and I would be a total workaholic. One of my alter egos works in publishing and wears fabulous suits and heels to work everyday. Her nights are filed with parties and work events and she, obviously, lives in New York. Very Lipstick Jungle. Another Mary did go to med school instead of becoming a teacher and balances her practice as an OB/GYN with being a mother with ease and calm (obviously a fantasy). A third, joined the Peace Corps and is living in Africa helping orphaned children.
I probably sound like Sybil with all of these different people I'm telling you exist inside me, but each of them represents something that I love or is meaningful to me. I take what I can from each of them that fits in to my current reality and I feel it makes me a better wife and mother. Anyone who knows me knows I love a little fabulousity and will wear ridiculous shoes and jewelry when given the chance and this makes me feel better on days I can barely get a shower. Nights spent awake with the baby are made bearable when I stay out all night with my husband once in a blue moon. And the publishing? Well, this blog isn't very glamorous, but it counts. Gaining some perspective by wearing or doing something not related to my "job" makes me see there are other identities to inhabit occasionally other than "So-and-so's mother".
Some of the personas influence my hopes and dreams for myself in the future. Yes, I do have those for myself as well as my kids. Just because I'm a mother doesn't mean I'm done becoming the me I'm meant to be. My doctor Mary makes me think about going back to school in the future and Peace Corps Mary makes me wonder if Tony and I won't do some overseas volunteer work when the kids fly the coop.
What all of these women do for me is show me the other possibilities for my life and make me glad I have chosen this one. While they all seem exciting and fulfilling in ways different than the life I am currently living I know this is where I belong and who I'm supposed to be right now. So think about who those other people are who live in your head. Invite some of them out to play once in a while. Maybe you're the only one who knows they exist, but I'm sure bits of them peep through. Be excited about that because it means there are still choices to make and roads to take and different "you"s to be.
* PEN - I love that with the overuse of my name my Google ads include statues of the Virgin Mary.
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