SUB!

If you want to borrow a large sum of money from me ask me on a day when I don't have my kids. Days I am out on my own I am filled with such magnanimity the Dali Lama better watch his back. It's as if all the energy and patience I have to summon to deal with my kids needs an outlet. Want to cut me off in traffic? After you, sir. Running for an elevator? I'll hold it for you. And a woman with kids? Forget it. I'll hold the door for her as she struggles with her stroller, pick up ejected toys and entertain her baby with funny faces so she can find her wallet to pay for his pretzel. Solidarity, sister.

Being away from my kids I feel liberated, lighter, as I only have one body to move from point A to point B - I was able to run for a train today - but I also feel unmoored, naked, as if I'm missing an appendage. I don't feel like my complete self without my children and after a few hours alone I miss them fiercely. It's at these times I realize how much being a mother is central to who I am as a person.

I return from these days out with a renewed sense of purpose - to be calmer-, more patient, a better mother, in general. Getting away from the constant barrage of needs and wants helps me to gain some perspective and tackle my work with new energy. I liken it to being on a hockey team. I love the game, but occasionally, I need to catch my breath in order to skate another shift. And that, my fellow mothers, is what we need to remember. Parenting is a team sport and while it may be tempting to play the whole game yourself because you're better than the other players, there no way you're going to win like that. No matter how much he bitches don't you ever feel guilty telling your partner you need a sub*. Kick off your skates, and have a seat on the bench once in a while. My water bottle just happens to be full of wine.

* Substitution rules apply - not only do you expect the kids to be alive when you return, but they will be fed, dressed and not parked in front of the TV for the entirety of your absence. The house will not be a disaster, you will not be responsible for cleaning up anything broken, spilled or scattered during said time period and husband may not act like a martyr for the remainder of the day without earning penalties.