You're not going out of the house like that....

While planning my annual Mother's Day weekend (as I have stated before, now that I have three children, it requires two days of celebration), I realized I have nothing to wear for my night on the town with some of my mom pals. Since track pants and a t-shirt really won't cut it, and most of my dressier clothes are from the winter, I began to do some online research to make my shopping trip with Little Man the next day as short and successful as possible (shopping for evening wear with a toddler who will fling grapes from the stroller, while repeatedly shouting his new favorite word, "nose", simultaneously poking himself in the eye, the entire time is yet more evidence as to why it is Mother's Days in my house).

I found some really cute tops and showed them to H to get his opinion. Why, I have no idea, since I would not be wearing the top in his presence and you all remember how well it worked out the last time I asked his sartorial advice. His response? "You're not wearing that without me." Whaaaat? Let me elaborate here - the top I showed him was a flowy, one-shouldered number, not a tube top. After a few minutes debate which ended with my giving him a big, fat "Whatever", he went to walk the dog. Upon his return I showed him an alternative - a wrap dress in a very muted zebra print. "Hell's to-the-no." Again, whaaaat? I would be more covered! It had long sleeves for Christ's sake! "You are not wearing anything animal print while I'm not around. Especially in a bar."

So the debate continues with my assuring H that I am a little long in the tooth for any guys to be checking me out and I give off a seriously "married" vibe anyway. He tells me I have no idea how men's minds work and that there are definitely men, even in my regular comings and goings who check me out, unbeknownst to me. Given the men I interact with on a daily basis I am skeptical. "Oh yeah", I tell him, "Mobin's giving the baby free munchkins is really just a ploy to get in my pants."

I must confess, these reactions did make me feel good. First, my husband would be ferociously jealous if another man hit on me - after almost twenty years together you gotta love that - and, second, he still thinks I'm Stacy's Mom enough for that to be a possibility. However wrong I think he is, I'll take the compliment.

So in the end I bought the top, and an alternative one, not because I need H's OK, but because I'm not sure which one I like best. No matter what I wear though, It will be accompanied by a smile knowing while I'm out there's a guy home in New Jersey who, after two decades and more than a little aging, still thinks I'm hot.