Leave no woman behind...

I just returned from dropping dinner off for my friend who's just had her third baby and on the drive back I asked myself, "Why aren't doing more of this stuff for each other?" What I mean by that is why aren't we helping other mothers whose unfashionable, sleep-deprived shoes we were all clomping around in not so long ago? Now, this whole post might sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but that is not my intention. My intention is to spread the word. I think we need to develop a simple catchphrase to remind us of all we have survived and lend a helping hand to those still in the trenches. LEAVE NO WOMAN BEHIND.

Remember what it feels like to be a babbling, sleep-deprived idiot and ask a new mother if you can come over and watch the baby, or take her older kids for a playdate so she can nap. Remember how, after having your second child, making dinner for your family seemed as insurmountable as climbing Mount Everest, and drop off a meal for her - especially after the first six weeks when everyone seems to think your life should be back to normal. Remember how you bruised the bejeezus out of you shins bumping them with the baby carrier as you dragged your infant and your three year-old across the packed parking lot into pre-school (which begs the point - park in the farthest spot if you have only one ambulatory child with you)? Offer to walk a friend's older child in, or if he/she is reluctant to leave Mommy, offer to stay by the car with her baby and let her bring your kid in with hers. Remember how lonely it felt to run, bent over, chasing after a small toddler on the playground to make sure he doesn't get clobbered by the psychos on the swings or catapult himself, headfirst, down the slide, not being able to engage in any of the adult playground conversation over on the benches? Be kind and follow your fellow mother around to chat for a bit instead of sitting on your smug ass the entire time (notice I said "entire time" since I think you are entitled to a little ass-widening time on the bench once you have weathered toddlerhood).

Perhaps I am hyper sensitive to helping other mothers out due to the absence of my own mother and lacking that person who sees you when you are drowning, even when you are hiding it from everyone else. It is our duty as mothers to keep our eyes open to others on the battlefield and help without being asked. So take the troubles you are going through as a lesson, and put the feelings you are experiencing now in the back of your mind, to be called into service when you see a comrade in trouble.

And if you only do one tiny, kind thing as a result of this post, tell a woman who has just had a baby, "My GOD! You look great!", with as much sincerity as you can muster.