It's alive!

"Aaaaaahhhhh!  Aaaaaahhhhh!  WHAT IS THIS UNHOLINESS???"

This is just a small excerpt from my violent reaction to the advertisement pictured left.  If this is not the work of the devil I do not know what is and my screams could be heard for miles. 

Let me preface this by saying I do not, and will never, understand people who collect dolls.  Obsessively hoarding other childhood detritus - comic books, action figures, even Scratch 'N Sniff stickers  - I can get behind since these items can be kitschy, are a conversation pieces at dinner parties and don't look like they will come to life and kill you.  If you have children, or even grandchildren I will grant you an exemption, but only if those children are of the age to enjoy dolls (and they have somehow been desensitized to the creepiness of glassy eyes staring expressionlessly out of a tiny porcelain face), but once the youngest goes off to college if you continue your collection you are seriously entering What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? territory.  

I also do not understand the emphasis on the "life-like" quality of these dolls.  Juxtaposing that with the fact these are inanimate objects ups the creepiness quotient.  It gives me the willies thinking about it and makes me think about people who stuff their dogs when they die.  I totally have to throw my mother in-law under the bus here (sorry, M) - she has a few of those faceless "hide  and seek"" life-sized toddler dolls and my brothers in-law and I all joke the kids will ask us years from now, "Did Mamar have some burn victim kid living with her?  I have this memory..."

Adding to the awesomeness of the little piece of hell pictured above is that it is part of a collection of demons, each dressed as a different color M&M.  And what about the M&M thing? Who is the marketing genius at Ashton Drake who said, "No, seriously.  Six inch babies dressed as candy.  It's the next Hummel!"? 

The oddness of the world amazes me sometimes.