The Shit List (Part 2)

Meh. It's raining. At least it's Friday. This Friday...

The Shit list (Part2)

5. My electrician who did not tell me the “small holes” he would be putting in the ceiling would cause a dust storm akin to the one at the end of Indiana Jones. Enjoy some drywall dust with your Cheerios kids because it’s gonna take a while for Mommy to clean every piece of earthenware we own. It’s calcium rich, right?

4. The dry cleaning delivery guy who is so afraid of my giant ball of love (also known as the dog) that he will not even knock. Granted, our doorbell is perpetually covered with a “Sleeping Baby” sign, but do not hang my forty pounds of dry cleaning that I finally managed to bring in on my $1.99 wreath hook pushing it to the breaking point while displacing my cheap Martha Stewart for Kmart wreath. It barely survived the trip home, never mind being tossed around on my porch. While I depend on your service mightily since no place is less convenient to go with small children and a baby than the cleaners (in my opinion, every place should either have carts where you can imprison your infant or have a drive through window – especially Dunkin Donuts), please do not make me call again and again and have a conversation with you in broken English trying to convey what "the brink of insanity" means.

3. The garbage man who is obviously so tired he can barely manage to get the garbage in the truck as evidenced by the fact that he drops our cans and their lids in the middle of the street after emptying them. We, unlike my elderly yard obsessed neighbors, are usually the one with our cans rolling down the street two days later (garbage does not fall under my jurisdiction and have I not discussed Hubby’s idea that there are “people” we can hire for everything?). I am also not so concerned with gathering said cans while emerging from the van with the baby crying to eat and #2 needing to use the potty so please make us look less like the irresponsible jackasses we are and at least drop them somewhere near the house. Please?

2. The mother with one child in tow who takes the parking space closest to school at drop-off and pick-up. Are we not all sisters? I will shoot you dirty looks as I drag my four year old all the way from the last spot through the rain as she jabs me in the thigh repeatedly with her cow umbrella (with horns and ears so I guess it’s really a bull) while trying to hold the umbrella over my thirty pound baby and myself and you will be ashamed. I am the handicapped of the preschool world so, while there is no sign, that spot is reserved for me.

1. And speaking of mothers, Mother Nature tops my shit list this Friday since it is pissing rain and will continue to do so through tomorrow night, the one night I have had plans to go out for ages and wear the aforementioned Pony Shoes. My hair will also look like rusted brillo adding insult to sensible footwear.

So Happy Friday to all. I’m sure my mood will improve as the day goes on and I acquire more caffeine in my bloodstream. And yes, I realize I sound like a huge princess bitching about all the service people listed above. When I start complaining about my manicurist, masseuse and personal chef you all have the right to come right over and punch me in the face.