I am not my hair

I came across the ad pictured here this weekend and I was so incensed I had to write about it. This is part of Suave's campaign aimed at mothers that, up until now, I have quite enjoyed. The ads have witty tags involving surveys they have done concerning mothers and their beauty regimens - "70% of mothers say they spend more time on laundry each week than on their hair"- and usually include a cute photo of a mom with a pile of laundry on her head. These ads made me feel less alone in my struggle not to look like a complete schlub - until now.

Let's dissect this ad, shall we? This, according to the ad, is a real woman. She is about my age and she is playing with her real daughter who is eighteen months old. In her "before" picture, she is dressed very fashionably - at least to me. Most days yoga pants and a long sleeve T-shirt are all I can pull out of the clean, unfolded clothes that carpet the floor of my laundry room. In my book, this gal is already several steps ahead of the curve.

Let's talk about the hair since it is the main focus of this ad after all. Her hair is pulled back in a ridiculous bun that looks like she did it without the benefit of a mirror all in an effort to contrast sharply with her "after "hair". That hair, while lovely, is not the hair of a fully functioning mom. Do you see the grin on the kid's face in the smaller photo? She's smiling because she is plotting her assault on this new hair style to see how much apple juice and pureed banana she can get into it before the day is done. She's thinking about how those artfully styled waves will look drenched with sweat and further tousled after a round of Try to Wrestle Me into my Carseat. She is envisioning the limp tangled mess her mother's hair will be after a good dousing at bath time.

I fully support Suave in their efforts to tap into this market of over-worked, under-showered consumers, but the ad pictured here goes too far. Let's be reasonable here. The people who shot this ad have obviously never felt the pain of trying to remove long hair, strand by strand, from the vice-like grip of a five month old whose chubby fingers, coated in saliva, have become hopelessly entangled in your coif. What do I expect from my hair on a weekday? I expect it to look clean and somewhat attractive and not to get in the way of doing my job, not like I just came out of the salon. This is exactly what this ad pictures and that's why it pissed me off. It is just another way the modern world makes women feel like crap. It's not enough that you get yourself and your kids through the day in one piece and maybe even teach them something, but now you are required to look photo ready while doing it. I remember reading Gone with the Wind and wondering why the girls "put their hair up" when they became women. Know why? Because there was work to do.

So Suave, thank you for your support of mothers and suggesting we take more time for ourselves. On the weekends when I do have time to do my hair and a husband to hand the baby to when he's covered in strained peaches I will consider using your moderately priced hair products. But weekdays, my hair will be clean, tightly pulled back and out of my way in my trusty Goody elastic. I'll slap on some lipstick, a lot of under-eye concealer and head into the fray thinking I look OK.