On this day of romance, I thought I would use my blog to give props to the man in my life who I have expressed repeatedly is, to borrow a phrase, "the cheese to my macaroni". While I occasionally give him crap about the lack of romance in our lives, I do realize that it is a function of the situation we are in, namely, being blind with child-rearing induced exhaustion, that has decreased the number of "come hither" looks and romantic candle-lit dinners we enjoy. Luckily for him, my definition of romance has evolved over the years - I no longer require a mix tape (which opens with Peter Gabriel's In You Eyes preferably) and a dozen over-priced red roses on Valentine's Day to know he loves me. Tidying up after the kids and a Russell Stover sampler are the equivalent of champagne and flowers to me these days. Today, while he is scrambling to get said sampler on his lunch hour, I would like to give credit where credit is due and highlight my husband's romantic skills by listing his all-time romantic Top 5.
5. Once upon a time, my husband could not cook. This is amazing because now he is an amazing home chef. People beg to come over when he is cooking. Back in the day though, he couldn't reheat a Hot Pocket. So it was the height of romance when he cooked me a four course meal at his parents house one summer evening. He spent all day getting ready and burned his hand pretty severely in a tongs-related hot-oil incident. He set up the backyard like a restaurant, borrowing a piece of trellis from his mother's craft show days to make a little patio garden for us. He even paid his eleven year-old brother to be our bus boy so once the meal was served we could just enjoy it. I was, and still am, impressed at the lengths he went to when he had no idea what he was doing.
4. The night we got engaged my beloved knew what he was doing. We were going to dinner at the Rainbow Room to celebrate our anniversary and I had a very good feeling he was going to propose. It was December and as we gazed up at the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree I was expecting him to pop the question any minute. When the proposal didn't come I was annoyed, but felt better about it after I saw a tourist being proposed to on bended knee then be immediately, and loudly, ridiculed by a passing drunk. After dinner, at one in the morning, with no one but us at the tree, he asked me to marry him in his usual powerfully quiet way. And, thank God, he didn't kneel.
3. During a particularly tough summer, my hubby wisked me away to Bermuda completely by surprise. We had been trying to get pregnant and it wasn't going so hot so I was pretty down in the dumps. I had just been away with my family on a short trip (I was a teacher off for the summer) while he stayed home to work. My only instructions being, "Keep the house clean and plan something fun for us to do when I get back". He made me check my e-mail as soon as I got home. He had sent me a picture of the beach in Bermuda telling me to pack my bags to leave the next morning at eight. And, no, there's no movie-ending where we wound up conceiving on that trip, but we did that autumn and having the memory of running away on a moment's notice has gotten us through many a night with a sleepless infant and made us feel like we sowed some wild oats.
2. The delivery of my second child is a long story, but it culminates with my being seven centimeters dilated, entering transition (the most painful part of labor) and basically being told I can't have an epidural. The anesthesiologist was called into an emergency C-section and while I was next, he probably wasn't going to make it. Thus began the screaming, crying and cursing , as I begged my husband and good friend, Sasha, who had come to help to," PLEASE DO SOMETHING! I CAN'T DO THIS!" I still remember how he stood there, helpless tears rolling down his stricken face and I knew he would have traded places with me if he could. The epidural never came and I delivered my daughter naturally and immediately after she was born my husband leaned in and whispered the most romantic words he has ever said to me. "I am so proud of you."
1. Finally, the most romantic thing my husband has ever done is stick by me through thick and thin. He still tells me I look pretty when I've been up all night and am covered in baby puke. He still laughs at my jokes. He still thinks I'm smart when I think my brains are turning to oatmeal from too much Goodnight Moon and not enough New York Times. He still sees me as me.
I'm sure my hubby is cringing right now because he is an intensely private person. It is yet another romantic gesture that he supports me writing this blog that reveals many of his secrets. But I just wanted him to know, I remember it all and appreciate these and all of the other, countless romantic gestures he has made over the years. No matter how small, I know he tries. Even though we have so little time to focus on each other now, I know we'll return to the days of wine and roses - then I expect him to whisk me away to Paris.
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