Dear God,

Sorry, I know You're busy and all, but I have to check in with You about my Lenten sacrifice. I just don't think this no-sweets thing is going to pan out.

In my usual over-all-or-nothing fashion, I thought I could eliminate all refined sugar from my life for forty days as a way to thank You for all You've done for me and my family (the subsequent weight loss would merely be a bonus I would ignore of course). So instead of having a few cookies after dinner, I am now consuming almost entire boxes of Banana Nut Cheerios, causing much lamenting from my children in the morning when all they are left with is Wheat Chex for breakfast.

Speaking of the contents of the pantry, H is also upset since our supply of sweets has diminished in its usual fashion over the last four days, but very little has been replaces, specifically so I don't eat it. So while the kids are happy with a small bowl of vanilla ice cream or few Hershey's kisses as an after dinner treat, my husband is threatening to mutiny. Teddy Grahams just don't cut it for him.

So here's the deal, I will still stay of chocolate for the remaining thirty-six days of lent. You know this is going to be very difficult for me as chocolate is my first choice for any kind of dessert. I didn't even eat any chocolate at the chocolate-themed mother/daughter book club meeting last night - and the entirety of the gathering was spent around a friggin' chocolate fountain! Nothing says gratitude like eating plain graham crackers and marshmallows while seven eight year-old basically bathe in liquid chocolate right in front of you.

I think this is going to work out well for everyone. H will get his well-stocked, pantry back, and the chocolate-free aspect will not bother him (the nonchalance about chocolate is an interesting design element in that gender, by the way), the kids will have all their cereals at their disposal each morning, I will not wind up bloated, cranky and ten pounds heavier from consuming too much peanut butter and cereal try to eat around my cravings, but you will still get to see me struggle every Saturday night when all I want after three glasses of wine is a big, fat slab of chocolate cake. It's a win-win for everyone, no?


Oh, and I know I am not exactly setting the best example for my kid, but I think showing weakness and humility is quite the Christian virtue. Plus, I told her my giving up all sweets would be like her giving up her DS, TV, the Wii and the computer. To which she replied, "That's just too much to ask, Mom".

I won't be naive and assume you have time to send me a sign that this new deal is acceptable to you. Could you just maybe not smite my family. That'd be great, thanks.

Sincerely,
Mary