Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dear Fan of F-berg

I love hate mail, but I love it especially when the author, as is usually the case, doesn't have the balls to identify him or herself, but I allow these comments to be published without my approval as it makes for some good comedy (and why is it always about the most random celebrities?). Attached below, in its entirety, is the comment received on yesterday's post concerning the song "Same Auld Lang Syne"

This blog entry can only have been written by someone with no depth or soul. If you had ever taken the time to listen to Dan Fogelberg's music, you would find that there is serious genius there. Some of his songs are complete poetic and musical masterpieces. I have been a fan for most of my life, and it infuriates me when someone judges him on the basis of a few songs that the radio played. The song you are ripping to shreds is not a happy song, that's true, but despite your inability to appreciate his use of words to paint pieces of truth, the song still expresses a piece of the human journey. We are defined by our choices, and people with depth sometimes reflect and reconsider what might have been if they had chosen differently.
Buy yourself a copy of "Captured Angel" or "Netherlands" or "The Innocent Age". Give them a fair listen and maybe you won't be such a mean mommy.


I don't know what your name is, obviously, so I will call you Fan of F-berg.

Dear Fan of F-berg,
Let me send you a heartfelt apology for insulting someone you feel is a musical god - so much so that your fervor has blinded you to the fact that I am not debasing your All Mighty's entire career, but rather one song I find to be a bad choice on the part of the dj, when included in the holiday playlist, so calm the hell down.

And while I appreciate your suggestion that I purchase some of Folgelberg's music to broaden my musical horizons, I have, as already admitted, "the musical sensibilities of a strip club dj", so your efforts are lost on me. I do not judge you for your love of F-berg, so do not judge me for my love of DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince.

FOF, you obviously were born without a snark nerve or had yours severed in some tragic consciousness-raising accident, so either have it repaired or get the hell off my blog. We don't take ourselves, or the things we love, too seriously here and have no room for those who do. The soulless, however, are welcome.

And as for your pithy closing remark, should we ever cross paths in real life, FOF, I will personally show you how mean a mommy I can be.

Merry Christmas! Oh shit. You'd probably find that offensive too. Happy Holidays!
Mean Mommy

3 comments:

kk said...

"The soulless, however, are welcome."

HA!!

Oh, and you need to say the whole name in this blog so his RSS feed trips: "Dan Fogelberg! Dan Fogelberg! Dan Fogelberg! (ding ding. his computer is on fire from the hits!)"

PS: how much of a loser do you have to be to have a Dan Fogelberg feed? And to not only have a feed, but to spend your time trolling random blog postings in order to defend Dan Fogleberg's honor?!

Hee!

Anonymous said...

Well said! Keep these coming - brighten up my day.


-Coug Afficiando


P.S.- a festivus for the rest of us

::lauren:: said...

This post is priceless. I will be laughing about this for days.