Enjoy the Silence...

This weekend I traveled back in time. Suffering from a bad cold I had to bail on the plans hubby and I had to go visit my brother in-law and his family overnight and since the baby is still tethered to me with the nursing, the plan was he would stay with me and hubby would take the girls to his brother's.

Before I begin, my apologies to my sisters-in-arms who are currently at home with their first child. I am not in any way belittling how hard you work or how tired you are, but OH MY GOD, I can't believe this is what my life used to be like! First of all, the blessed, blessed silence. Yes, my baby whines when he is hungry or tired and he babbles and does his happy baby screaming, but I can't wrap my head around the fact that I used to live a life where no one was asking me for a snack or to finger paint or why flowers die within the space of five minutes. I had to remind myself every so often that I was not alone and try to engage in conversation with my son as I am so used to the constant chatter of my older two. Then I started to worry, would he have a speech delay because every time his sisters are gone I'll want to enjoy the sound of silence? Well, maybe he will too.

The other thing I could not get over was how clean my house was! With the exception of the toys scattered around his play mat or ejected from the Exersaucer, my floors and surfaces were devoid of their usual detritus. I didn't have to chase anyone around asking, "Did you clean up?" scattering Polly Pockets and broken crayons in my wake. There were no water cups or snack bowls lying around for the dog to knock over and finish off. With only one child on my hands I actually had time to vacuum and fold some laundry while he happily munched away on a biter biscuit.

Speaking of meals, there was no bargaining or cajoling. Eat my peas? No problem! My son just opens his little maw and is happy with whatever nutritious food I shove in - well, except for that Meat Lasagna Stage 3 baby food which was a momentary lapse in judgment. Bananas, sweet potatoes, cheese, keep it comin', lady! Feeding my girls, I sound like the mother in A Christmas Story, "There are starving people in China!", as I try to convince my eldest to eat three measly baby carrots. Never mind the mid-morning or mid-afternoon meltdowns that ensue after one of them decides she was too busy too eat breakfast or lunch. Nope, for my son it's all about the basics. "Me hungry. Me eat."

I was also freed from was the daily bombardment of "Can I watch a show?" The TV, which usually goes off after Sesame Street in the morning, was on non-stop and was entirely mine! And you know I love TV. While I wasn't watching porn or horror movies, I did glut myself on TV "inappropriate" by preschool standards. Meticulously facing him away from the screen, I was able to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon, and two movies - Stomp the Yard, about an historically black college's fraternities and step squads - delightfully bad - and In Her Shoes with the hateful, giant-mouthed, Cameron Diaz and the lovely Toni Collette - while folding said laundry. Any other day and my TV time is relegated to the hours of eight and ten when I'm usually half asleep on the couch.

And the naps! Two a day! Two windows of opportunity to shower, exercise, stare at a blank wall. Such riches! I scarcely knew what to do with myself. While my middle one does still nap, my oldest one has given it up. She stills goes in her room for "quiet time" which consists of her coming out every five minutes asking, "Can I get up yet?" until I am worn down and relent. So all told, I have about ten minutes a day without at least one of my children conscious. Alone with my son, this much free time during the daylight hours was a shock to my system. I orbited around the house for the first twenty minutes of each nap trying to decide what to do first.

Of course there were the usual bonuses, only having to schlep one kid around when I ran to the store, only having to use the single stroller to walk the dog and, most importantly, getting to really play with my son who, as my third child, gets so little one on one time with me. Having this time with him made me feel guilty about how much more of my time his sisters got and what a calmer parent I must have been back then. I suppose there are benefits and drawbacks to being the youngest and on the plus side he'll always have playmates and I'll probably let him do things much younger than his older siblings did (I can hear the complaints from his sisters already).

Hubby and the kids are due home soon and, honestly, I have to say I miss the chaos. While it's been nice to have some peace and quiet, I love the insanity that comes from having a large brood. While I can do without the crumbs and Polly and all her crap, the noise is what I miss the most. Hearing my girls play silly games together and calling me, "Mommy?", is the soundtrack of my life and without it I feel like I'm in the wrong movie.