Facebook. The word used to mean something entirely different. One upon a time, colleges distributed a yearbook-type collection of photos of the incoming freshmen class allowing newbies to identify people whose names they may or may not remember from orientation week, and upperclassmen to decide which attractive and as-of-yet unjaded freshmen ladies to invite to their fraternity parties to ply with garbage can punch. Now Facebook is a worldwide social media phenomenon. And I love it.
Yes, Facebook is the source of a lot of inappropriate over-sharing I thank my personal saints there was no Facebook back in my college days so no photos currently exist of my wearing high-waisted jeans and a black body suit, drinking a concoction called "Moose Piss", and dancing to "O.P.P". And my sorority hazing days? I think I might have wound up going viral. The once-removed quality of this forum of communication makes it far too easy to post far too personal information. Aside from not wanting to see blurry pictures of you doing Jaeger bombs, I also don't necessarily want to know your political and religious views. I know you through the preschool, I like you and think you are normal. Don't ruin that by posting right-to-life rants, or a diatribe about the one percent. Facebook is the ultimate "it's all about me" free fire zone and I have learned some uncomfortable things about people I used to think I had a lot in common with.
Facebook is also the home of the under-whelming mundane share - like what you had for lunch or the fact that you can't sleep. Some people feel the need to share every aspect of their average lives. If the topic is going to be lame, you'd better be hi-friggin-larious about it. The other two posting faux pas are winebooking and vaguebooking. Winebooking is pretty obvious. Stay at home, drink too much, then start tapping away. You will leave inappropriately long comments on friends' baby's photos or get overly sentimental with those "friends" you have had no contact with since graduating from high school. And this is only the suburban-mom-and-Chardonnay variety.* I can not even imagine the single-gal-about-town version where there are a stable of exes to embarrass yourself with. With a worldwide audience, it's drunk dialing times a bajillion. Vaguebooking, a term now found in the Urban Dictionary, is "posting an intentionally vague or one-worded status update, alluding to something else." Some vaguebooking is funny and meant as a private joke. Though it is usually of the complaining variety and is essentially, the Facebook version of sitting in a corner at a party, crying. Posting things such as, "I don't know why I bother anymore", you are passive-aggressively demanding your friends ask "what's wrong?". Be a grown-up and either bitch about it directly to get the support you need, or shut up about it.
You learn a lot about people you are "friends" with on Facebook because a lot of them are really just acquaintances. Sure, you have your family and besties on there, but also the guy who sat next to you in AP Chem and a gal you used to wait tables with in college. When you first sign up for Facebook, it's fun and exciting to get back in touch with people you genuinely liked once upon a time, but then it becomes an exercise in awkwardness as people you really didn't want to reconnect with send you friend requests. Suddenly, the girl who made your life a living hell in eighth grade wants to be cyber friends? Ignore the shit out of that. I set strict limits for myself friends-wise. It may sound harsh, but with very few exceptions, I don't friend locals. I don't need some mom I barely know telling me at pick up how fun my annual girls' weekend with B was or seeing funny pictures my sister posts. I like to keep worlds a little bit separate, thanks.
Despite all these negatives, I am not about to quit any time soon. Yes, there are those holier-than-thou people (like H) who have no interest in it, but I think for most of us (normal) people, Facebook is about connection. We can be more involved in the lives of our far-off pals and loved ones. Through Facebook, I have a daily relationship with my sister, KK. We post goofy things on each other's walls and it's like she's still in the bedroom next door, not on the opposite coast. I have also made new friends through my Facebook friends. Going to visit KK last winter, I felt like I already knew half the people I was going to "meet" for the first time. And after a recent wedding, Facebook allowed me to stay in touch with some fun people we met. For those of us who work in rather adult-sparse fields like stay-at-home-motherhood, popping on Facebook is like taking a stroll to the watercooler or breakroom. I can see a funny cartoon that makes me laugh, or notice a few people like the photo of me and H* that I posted. It gets my head out of the game for a few minutes and puts me in a better mood. Where was this site when I was stuck at home with three babies?
The thing I love the most about Facebook though, is that it's the lazy person's scrapbook. I'll admit, I only post flattering photos of myself and family and about good events in my life*** - because who the hell wants to hear me bitch? See vaguebooking above. So when I used the Year in Review tool (LOVE) I saw all the exciting, fun things my family and I had done in the past year and, DAMN! Facebook is like a sieve I can use to strain out all the daily bullshit and see the wonderful highlights of a pretty fantastic life.
I'm just glad it doesn't include any pictures that are PG13.
*Which I have not initiated, but been the victim of on several occasions.
**Who acts like he in a goddamn witness protection program with his protests.
***See the cartoon above.
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