Stop your laughing. I like Miley Cyrus. I have a seven year old, it comes with the territory. But even if it didn’t I would have to say that for all my hesitation at opening this purple, glittery, can of worms, Miley Cyrus and her alter ego, Hannah Montana, have improved my life. Or at least my running time.
Yes, #1 watches Hannah Montana, and, no I have no problem with Miley Cyrus' "racy" Vanity Fair cover or her "pole dancing"* on the Teen Choice awards because, obviously, my seven year-old isn't reading Vanity Fair and I think the word "Teen" in the title excludes her from watching that broadcast. It's called parental control, people, check it out. What you see on Hannah Montana is a positive, family-centric message and Lucille Ball-esque slapstick humor.
But what do I really dig? The music.
My iTunes list is chock-full of hits I have come to love being the mother of seven and five year-old girls. Like you’re surprised. Me of the MC Hammer, RuPaul playlist. So for those of you looking for some new tunes to rock it out to on the elliptical trainer, let me invite you to get over yourselves and embrace the cheese. Might I suggest...
* Almost anything with a fast tempo by Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana. What songs would a thirty-five year old mother relate to? So many to choose from! Oh, Miley, did you write “Nobody’s Perfect” especially for me? “NOBODY’S PERFECT, I GOTTA WORK IT!!!!” And “Party in the U.S.A.”? I act like it was the kids who wanted it on constant loop in the van, but the lines “I put my hands up, they’re playing my song, the butterflies fly away” made us all feel a little less nervous in New Town as we belted them out on the way to our first day of school.
*The soundtrack to Alvin and the Chipmunks – The Squeakquel. Don’t you jugde me, Judge-y Judgerson. There are tame versions of “I Gotta Feeling”, “Hot and Cold” and “All the Single Ladies”, which has given me the mildly uncomfortable experience of watching my five year-old swing her hips and sing, “Don’t be mad ‘bout what you see out here on it.”. There are some original songs that are even better. Download “The Song” featuring Queensberry right now. “’CAUSE WHEN I ROCK NO ONE ROCKS HARDER THAN ME AND I DON’T STOP ‘CAUSE I GOT MAD ENERGY!!!” Who needs coffee?
*The High School Musical Soundtrack. If we learned nothing from Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl”, we at least came away knowing any song with a marching band lead-in is a hit. Is “We’re All in This Together” queer? Sho ‘nuff. Do I kick up the speed on the treadmill during the bridge “WILDCATS EVERYWHERE WAVE YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!”? You bet Zac Efron’s carefully tousled and highlighted hair I do.
There are many more songs I just keep forgetting to download, and some that are too ridiculous even for me. I do find the intro to Lazy Town quite catchy though. So mock me if you will, dear readers, but these songs keep me going and make me smile, almost as much as The Spice Girls and the other great artists I usually listen to in the morning. This includes you, H. You watch as Miley motivates me to kick your ass in that race in August.
*Pole dancing? If that was pole dancing then the exhausted removal of my yoga pants every night is stripping,
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