This year I have a lot to be thankful for - my family's and my health, the new house, the kids' adjusting well to the move and now, I AM GOING TO BE ON TV!!!
Sort of.
Set your DVR's, dear readers, Mean Mommy is going to be in the audience of one of her favorite gabfests, The Wendy William Show on Thursday, December 10th at 10:00 am and, by hook or by crook, I will get to talk to Wendy. Who is this Wendy, you ask? If I am such a rabid fan, it does seem strange that I haven't written about her before. I had thought about it on several occasions, but perhaps subconsciously I knew I'd have something more significant to write about, than merely me love of Ms. Williams. In a hundred words or less, the host of this celebrity gossip-fest, Wendy, is a tall, big-haired, shoe-obsessed, loud-mouthed, tranny-lookalike, fag hag. Gee, who does that remind you of? Other than looking like a tranny, obviously. She also takes questions from the audience about personal matters, such as what to do about baby-mama drama and how to get even with cheating boyfriends. She is fabulosity distilled down to its essence, with catch phrases such as "foo-foo la" (fancy embellishments, ex., "I love that dress with all its foo-foo la"), "Wiggy" (women who wear wigs) and the show's tag line "How you doin'?", which now said to everyone, was once the greeting used for only gays on her radio show. She interviews celebrities with brutal honesty and uses that same no-holds-barred approach discussing her own life, admitting things such as her love for Slim Jims heated over a flame. H says she is my walking id.
The radio was where I fell in love with Wendy. I found her one random afternoon five years ago, driving around in the van and have been listening to her ever since. It was here I learned the details of her life that made me love her like how she spends the weekends in sweats around her suburban New Jersey home crafting with her son. This makes me lover her even more. Because I really couldn't love a celebrity with the devotion I do if I didn't think she was a real person. Wendy is a devoted mother who takes off her wig and Manolos to be class mother. No one can be that fabulous all the time. It's just not appropriate, as much as we'd like it to be.
So keep you fingers crossed, dear readers, that you will see me in more than the wide, audience shot. Apparently, some producer will call to see if I have a question for the "Ask Wendy" segment. Since Wendy is such a fag-hag, and gays make up a huge percentage of her audience, I am stacking the deck, bringing my sister and Chrissy with me and my question will be how to explain their upcoming nuptials to my children (even though that has already been done). And if God is really, really smiling on me, I will be picked to intro the show. Considering the poorly dressed schlubs they've been picking lately (despite the website's urging to dress chicly, in bright colors), I am a shoe in (pun intended) as I will be wearing a purple sleeveless top, the necklace in my new profile picture, and my pony heels. It would be a dream come true to throw my arms wide, filled with love for my hero, and exclaim, "AND HERE'S WENDYYYY!"
*These are lyrics from the amazing theme song
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