If I Were a Boy

Yes, this is the topic of Beyonce's new song, and yes, I like her music and, yes, you can stop laughing and shut up.

Seriously, my love of R&B aside (which apparently is my favorite genre of music according to the new sort function on iTunes), listening to this song got me thinking. In the song Beyonce lists all of the things she would do within the confines of a relationship were she male - not calling, not sharing - blah, blah, find a new boyfriend then. However, the refrain, "If I were a boy" made me think about all the differences between men and women outside of the cliched romantic ones and the line, "I'd put myself first", particularly highlighted, to me, the innate selfishness men never seem to lose as they mature from boys to men.

Now don't get your boxers in a bunch, male readers. I am not saying all men are selfish bastards who don't think of others or live their lives in service to their families - this is meant as a compliment. What I'm talking about are the day to day differences in the way we live our lives as adults. Men continue to seek pleasure as they did as children while women develop a mindset of self-deprivation-as-virtue. We feel we have to earn our rewards and pleasures instead of it being a right as a living being to enjoy what life has to offer.

So, I came up with four major things I would like to start doing to break this habit - all inspired by Hubby. These are differences between he and I that I think add to his quality of life and seriously detract from mine.

1. I will indulge regularly in things I love to eat and actively seek them out. My husband will no longer be able to say, "But I never know if you're going to eat it if I bring it home!" Since my former self, having a fat day, might not eat the chocolate donuts he just brought me. He, on the other hand, if faced with bacon, regardless of dietary status, will consume with vigor.

2. I will not look at the state of the house as a reflection of my self worth or die a little inside when the baby fishes a toy from under the couch and brings with it a fistful of dog hair. Ditto for unfolded laundry and that brown substance in the bottom of the crisper in the fridge.

3. I will declare pooping as alone time. I can count on one hand the number of times I have gone to the bathroom with the door closed in the last six years. From now on I'm bringing a book.

4. I am currently doing this right now, but I will take the baby's nap time as my lunch hour and do what I want to do instead of the eight thousand things I have to do. I may take a nap myself.

Look for additions to this in the future as I'm sure after having my eyes opened I will see more and more of these differences. I can pat myself on the back for two things I already do that are typically "male" and I love them. I drive both the remote and the cars in this family and do both better than Hubby. (Shut up, H, you know you love John & Kate Plus 8!)