Shut up, kid

It is shameful how long it has been since I posted, dear readers, but after last week, the wringer and I? We're good pals. Last week was a tough one not only for me, but for my eldest as well. And my father was not kidding, you are only as happy as your unhappiest child.

What I have been fearing for years finally came to pass with my girl. Background first. My oldest is a chip off the old block. As a child, I was hypersensitive and was only truly happy when everyone else was happy. We both share an intense, "can't we all just get along?" philosophy and while, somewhere around middle school, I decided to grow a thicker skin and develop the "fuck you" attitude most of you are alarmingly familiar with, Mean Mommy was, once upon a time, a wimp. I took shit left, right and center from a series of queen bees and went back for more. I am not ashamed to say it because it made me the person I am today, as my sister puts it, "the champion of the meek", but watching my poor, sweet girl go through this is exponentially worse and like a thousands knives through my heart.

So when #1 came home from school last week telling me some kid in her class was being mean to her I immediately began to plot this child's death while trying to repair the damage done. While after hearing the details of the story, it was obvious that my sensy little one was taking things way too seriously and this kid had a serious case of the I-Think-My-Opinion-Counts, it made me think not only of the bullies I encountered back in the day, but of most kids I am running into now that we are seriously entrenched in the social world of elementary school.

The epidemic of which I speak is running rampant through our youth and unless we do something about it America will become known, even more so, as a country of loud-mouthed assholes. The child my daughter was having trouble with was coming up to her to tell things like, "You're late" or "That joke's not funny". Petty, mean things that really don't need to be said. This child, like so many others, has been taught that his opinion actually matters. That every thought he has, mean or otherwise, is valid and needs to be shared regardless of the feelings of others or, god forbid, social graces.

Even with adults these kids can't keep their traps shut. When we have playdates, they are forever haunting me:
Step 1 - Annoying kid: "Can we watch TV?"
Step 2 - Mean Mommy: "No, we don't watch TV on playdates at our house. We play."
Step 3 - AK: "But why?"
Repeat Steps 2 and 3 until Mean Mommy makes a face that scares the kid and she shuts up.

Can you fucking imagine the nerve????? It's all I can do not to smack the kid in the face and say, "Becasue I freakin' said so and who the hell asked you?" We had one kid over for dinner last week before a Halloween party and after being told we'd put on our costumes after dinner, she continued to haunt me for the next hour and forty-five minutes, "Can we now?" Then as I'm feeding the baby, "Is dinner over yet?" Not to toot my kid's horn, but she would sooner stick hot pokers in her eyes than challenge a grown-up once given a reasonable answer.

Kids today, in my opinion, think they are important and while we all love our kids and think the sun rises and sets with them, it is our job to instill a sense of humility in them that lets them know, really, everyone is not hanging on your every word and not everything you think needs to come shooting out of that little graham cracker-hole. Did you ever wonder why our parents' generation had about fifty kids in each public school class and no one got out of hand and our generation is calling the newspapers if Johnny's first grade has more than fifteen? That's because each child also brings their ego, doubling class size. Remember the adage "Children should be seen and not heard"? A little of that goes a long way if you ask me.

Now I am not saying we should teach children to never express their opinions or challenge authority when warranted, but an appropriate amount of restraint would be nice. So while we all work on that I know I have a responsibilitiy to toughen my eldest up, as well as myself. It's going to be a long road ahead with losts of stings and barbs and we both need to be prepared for that. I will comfort myself at night, however, with visions of these kids, years down the road, when they are managing a Friendly's or selling used cars. Maybe someone will care what they have to say then and ask them what flavor to order their Fribble.