Dear Ann Taylor

Dear Ann Talyor,

I want to thank you for my recent, very pleasant trip to your offshoot store, Ann Taylor Loft. I ran in on a whim with my two daughters in tow after seeing an adorable corduroy jacket in the front window thinking I could quickly try it on over my T-shirt without having to disturb everyone in the dressing room with my girls' usual game of "Bunk Beds" where they argue over who gets to lie on top of and underneath the bench in the cubicle and they both wind up covered in dust bunnies (Old Navy is especially filthy).

After trying on said jacket and deciding to purchase it, I noticed a rack of lovely, fine-whaled cords behind the display and, buying the kids' silence with the promise of cinnamon sugar pretzels, sojourned into the dressing room with my usual size 12. Yes, Mean Mommy is a big gal, being almost five foot nine. In my dream world there would be a size 11 since I need to eat more desserts to really fill out a 12 or keep sending my local tailor's kids to private college with alterations. And I'd never get to eat dessert again (not possible) to fit into a 10 any other time than after a bout of stomach flu.

So imagine my surprise when I slipped on the pants and they were swimming on me! The attendant brought me a 10 and, again, too big! I was so shocked I hardly noticed #2's feet sticking out from under the bench and #1 pretending to snore. A size 8 was procured and - perfection! Had I entered a magical place where pounds melt off as you walk through the door? Donuts and fries for everyone!

Sadly, no. Having just weighed myself that morning, Ann Taylor, I knew I weighed not one pound more or less than I did a few weeks ago. While I thank you for the ego boost, I beg you to stop with this vanity sizing. While I'm sure you are seeing sales skyrocket, are you really doing women any good? I see the problem as two-fold.

First, if I have eaten my way into a bigger size, I should have to face it. I know, rationally, I can not exist on pie and wine and still keep my figure. You are only helping women delude themselves and have unfortunate, "Who the hell is the girl with the big butt in the mirror?" moments later on. A Size 16 butt is still a size 16 whatever the label says and I'd like to know when I've achieved one (as I did one unfortunate winter in college eating sour cream straight from the food service tub). And to not be totally superficial about it, it's just not healthy.

Second, you are not helping women accept the size and shape of their bodies. If I am exercising regularly and eating healthfully, I should be proud of my body no matter what size I wear. You are reinforcing the idea that women should be a certain size to be attractive and I do not like it. Not. At. All.

So, Ann Taylor, please do something about this. I not only disagree with your sizing based on the reasons above, but it also exponentially increases my time in the dressing room playing What Size Am I Here? It also allows enough time to produce two children who look like they've come out of a lint trap by the time we leave the dressing room. Someone really needs to get under there with a vacuum.

Sincerely,
Mary