Ten and two

So the first day of the new year has come and gone without our discussing our resolutions, or lack thereof. This is typically the week when all of our good intentions go right out the window. Smokers start puffing away again, and those over-zealous new gym members finally go back to where they came from and stop hogging up all the machines they don't know how to use, mostly due to injury. The dessert you swore you wouldn't eat because you had wine with dinner, in an effort to make it "either or" has been consumed, and your plan to only drink one Coke Zero a day is a miserable failure, if the full recycling can is any evidence. Not that I know about either of those last two scenarios.

But for some of you, you are forging ahead, fueled by good intentions and a successful first week. H, for example, has moved into week two of 2012, still getting his ass on the treadmill at least four times a week, which now that the weather is getting much colder, making outdoor running less than enjoyable, I really appreciate, as he competes with me for the indoor equipment (see comment about overzealous new gym goers above). I can't complain though since he is trying not to be the "skinny fat guy" - skinny guy with fat guy cholesterol levels, resulting in a heart attack no one saw coming except his wife who's been screaming at him for the last ten years to stop eating Taylor ham and do something that requires breaking a sweat. The girls even made resolutions this year. #1, the consumer of primarily white foods, has pledged to eat at least five fruits or vegetables a day. She has gone so far as to ask me to pack not only an apple, but CARROTS as well, in her bag so she can knock two out at lunch. Or perhaps, toss them in the trash with her mother none the wiser. #2 is trying to not forget homework assignments any more. She has a bit of an Absentminded Professor thing going on, so I hate to say it, but I am not hopeful.

So what about Mommy? You know my very low bar-high success rate philosophy when it comes to resolutions, although that calcium supplement one is still eluding me. It doesn't help I cant take it first thing in the morning with my thyroid medication, as they react, so I have to plan it out during the day like some ninety year-old with a pill organizer. I will keep trying though. The resolution I am dead-ass serious about this year, which I am ashamed to admit I had to make, is to stop using my cell phone when I'm driving. Stop banging the gavel there, Clarence Thomas. Trust me, I have berated myself mentally for it for ages, but in my (admittedly lame) defense, the car is really the only place I can have a coherent, linear thought throughout the day.

Let's take an average ride to school, for example. On the way I see Mom 1. Mom 1 is friends with Mom 2, which reminds me I have to email Mom 2 about the girl scout cookie permission slip she didn't turn in. This reminds me I have to get H to bring home the girls' cookie order forms that he has posted in his office, passive-aggressively pressuring his underlings into buy cookies from the higher-up's kids. I also need to check if my brother in-law is ordering before the sale ends. This three block drive has resulted in one email and two texts already. Little Man is distracted by the music or the interesting vehicles on the road and I have time to think. Did I read with #2 yesterday? Yes, that Emily Windsnap book. We finished it so I should try to borrow that other one from S - another email. #1 has flute today. Did I tell her to walk home alone because #2 has CCD? Email the teacher. I've been in the car ten minutes and sent five electronic communications. Could I wait until I got home to send these missives? Sure, but upon my return, Little Man would be asking for a banana, the dog would have turned over his water dish, or some another annoying calamity, and these to-do's would fall right out of my head.

These are no "LOL" emails and texts I was sending. I wasn't posting Facebook updates. But regardless of what I was sending, I could kill somebody while doing it, no matter how pressing it might be. And using my phone in the car had become a habit. I was no longer just thinking of correspondence I had to send, but I began checking my phone to see what urgent items may have been sent to me. I would hear that little pinging sound and immediately react. I won't keep my phone on silent when the kids are at school, but even when they were with me, and the phone was silenced, I was checking for that little blinking light. Not good. Moms are already some of the most dangerous drivers out there.

The plan, so far, has been to keep my phone in my bag rather than on the console next to me when I drive. This creates an obstacle, as digging through the strata of dirty tissues, Legos, Band-Aids and empty Purrell bottles in there and successfully extracting my phone, is impossible while driving. It also helps reduce the knee-jerk reaction I have when the alert sounds. It has been comically ridiculous when it does go off. I jerk like I've been given a shock, my free hand automatically shooting right. It's a physical struggle as well as a mental one.

What I have noticed in the last ten days though, is I am calmer, and more focused when I drive. I realized my Blackberry was giving me a kind of ADD, my thoughts ping-ponging around, on anything but my driving. My mind isn't racing a thousand miles an hour lately. I talk more with the kids now, occasionally asking them to remind me of one of those random thoughts upon our return home. Reliability not being the strong suit of the under-ten set, I now have a paper and pen to jot down reminders when I get to the next stop light. My kids know about my struggle and they keep me in line. Setting a good example is making this a little bit easier.

Let's just hope I don't transfer my need to get my thoughts down and wind up running someone over because I had a memo pad and Bic pen on the sterring wheel trying to scribble down "buy birthday present for slumber party".