Reasons I have not written in so long:

1. The construction has begun on our bathrooms, and I have been rocking in a corner at all the dust and debris in my house.

2. I went to the Grammys to figure out why Taylor Swift can sound normal when recorded, but sounds like a freshman boy in a high school talent show when singing live.

3. Two days after I last wrote, I was hit with the kind of flu where all you can do is lie on the couch, crying at your own patheticness. The kind where you look so awful your contractor brings you chicken soup.

4. I began, in earnest, my campaign to end to usage of "amazing". It's the new "awesome" people, and we will be mocked for it in movies decades from now.

5. With our one shower out of commission, I have been too busy dragging myself and the kids around New Jersey looking for places to cleanse ourselves. Not wanting to take any longer than absolutely necessary in any one home willing to welcome me in to bathe three children, my own showers have been briefer than ever. I can now braid my leg hair.

6. After seeing signs to "RESERVE NOW!', I was too busy wondering who actually goes to Outback Steakhouse for Valentine's Day. Because nothing preps you for a night of lovin' more than a giant fried onion and a side of beef.

7. I have spent the last week searching New Jersey for fixtures to create turn on the century bathrooms, to match my turn of the century house, trying to convince merchants at lighting, tile and plumbing stores that, no, I am not, in fact, one of the Housewives of New Jersey, and no, I don't want every surface covered in gold marble tile and/or gold crown molding.

8. I've been listening to "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" on constant loop.

9. I was busy helping T get ready for his eight day trip to Brazil, that was to include Carnival celebrations such as dinners, a ball, and going to the Mayor of Rio's box for the parade. Oh, and the kids would be off from school while he was gone.

10. I spent the week wandering around The Gap, wondering if they would ever again sell jeans without holes or odd weathering.

11. Deciding I had to get out of the house with T away, I was too busy planning a trip for the kids and myself to Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor water park and hotel, wondering, after I entered my credit card info, if I would return sane and/or with all three children.

12. I was distracted trying to eat my way to the bottom of the Valentine's chocolate T was smart enough to send, before Lent begins next week.

13. I was on the phone with T the first three days his trip, as he was struck down by the stomach flu on his flight over and wound up coming home early. Just in time for Little Man to throw up on him yesterday in greeting.

14. I have been in shock over Ghost: The Musical.

15. I have spent the last twenty four hours marveling that yesterday was the first time a child has vomited on H, while I can't recall every time I've sat still holding a puking child and said to myself, "Might as well save the rug and let her finish."

16. I've been on vacation, drinking wine. watching Sex and the City reruns on my ipad on the beach at the Four Seasons Hawaii.

Hint: I'm packing my bathing suit and it's not #16.