Last seen wearing these shoes....

Hi, Mean Mommy is really, really busy right now so we, the totally inappropriate and impractical, yet totally fabulous, shoes H gave her for Christmas, are stepping in. No pun intended. And yes, those are four inch heels and, no, she can't walk very far wearing us at all, but did manage to hobble around the house in us all night Christmas Eve, and fully intends to do so again on New Year's Eve, as events with no commute whatsoever are really what we're designed for.

In between bouts of being dressed up, MM is spending her days rocking the yoga pants and a mild hangover, since, once you begin the downhill sleigh ride known as the holiday season, which begins with prepping the house and managing the stress involved with your husband cooking seven different types of fish for twenty people on Christmas Eve, followed by the orgy of consumerism that is Christmas Day, complete with associated panic attacks related to where all of these new pieces of plastic crap are going to go since you don't actually enjoy your home looking like a toy store, is there really any reason not to have at least two glasses of wine each and every night?

Sure, most people get a break, and can let their livers and bodies recover, and spend a few days not drinking prosecco, (which conveniently does not keep very well, requiring the entire bottle be consumed) or constantly stuffing sweets into their mouths, but MM's birthday comes hard on the heels of Christmas, requiring more drinking and eating of cake, which she had the foresight to send H out to get before the huge snowstorm hit, ensuring consistent levels of fat, sugar and alcohol in her bloodstream.* So with just three days left until New Year's Eve, there really is no reason, other than feeling exhausted from not having fallen asleep somewhat buzzed for a single night in the last five, only to awake at three in the morning, thirsty and unable to go back to sleep, and feeling constantly revved-up or sluggish from sugar highs and lows, to even bother eating or drinking moderately.

The kids are also home from school, and while distracted by the new toys, so much togetherness without any field trips, ala this summer, results in more than a few skirmishes, no matter how cool the new Zhu Zhu Pet habitrail is. So playdates have been scheduled, as well as trips to see Yogi Bear (what happened to you, Tom Cavanagh?) and to Bounce U that, yes, sounds like something out of a Judd Apatow comedy, in which MM would drag her childless friend to witness the horror that is suburban children set free to wild in an inflatable maze and boxing ring, complete with over-sized gloves, and H winds up getting punched in the nuts.

So forgive her, dear readers, for her long absence. New Year's Day is upon the horizon, as is the return of school, structure, routine, and healthy eating and drinking habits. We are sure one of her resolutions is to write more this year (80 posts in 2010, really?), but then again, did we mention she has to pack the whole family to leave for Disney on January 12th, with H being gone on an business trip the three days prior? Maybe she should just keep drinking.

Happy New Year!

*Oh, and thank you, Snow, for trapping MM in the house with the kids during the day on her birthday, which is usually spent being massaged amid paramedics, or exercising with queens. Instead, the day was spent hauling wet snow clothes in and out of the dryer, trying to shout above the din of LM's new Stinky the Talking Dump Truck.