"Somebody's getting maaaaried..."*

This is, apparently, a week of momentous events in Mean Mommy's life. Not only have we successfully bought and sold a house, but my only sister, KK, got engaged over Easter weekend to her girlfriend, Chrissy.

As I have mentioned several times before, my sister is gay. I have made references to her sexuality a few times, not feeling the need to put it in ALL CAPS, since as my sister puts it, "Being gay is part of who I am, not what I am." But the recent happy event in her life has made me think, even more than I already did, how brave and self-confident my sister, and all homosexuals, must be to live their lives openly in a world that does not give them and their relationships the respect they deserve. According to my research, only four states currently recognize same sex unions (SSU), and the federal government does not at all. It makes me so sad that when my sis and her partner do tie the knot they will not be privy to the same rights I have, being married to H, even though their commitment to each other is just as real.

The people who oppose SSU are the same people who think being gay is a choice. That makes sense - a life where the majority of the world will persecute you for loving the person you do, to have to perpetually be careful about who you are honest about your life with and holding hands with your significant other can cause perfect strangers to hurl insults at you? Sign me up! So perhaps reason and clarity are not exactly their strong suits. But, burning disdain aside, I really looked into the arguments against SSU to see what the cornerstones of this movement are. And as I suspected, they are pillars of sand.

The most concrete argument anti-SSU groups make centers around health and financial benefits. Why should one civil union partner be covered under the other's health insurance? That's money right out of companies' pockets! Well, let's say, worst case scenario, said uncovered partner has no health coverage whatsoever and goes to a hospital for charity care, who do you think is paying then? The taxpayer. If the covered partner pays out of his/her paycheck each month at a higher rate for family coverage, then what the hell are you bitching about? Either way, somebody is paying. And as for pensions, etc, what do you care who gets your coworker's 401K? Does it really help you sleep at night if Ken from accounting's mom gets his money rather than his partner who he's been living with for 25 years? Mind your business.

Another argument I happened upon was that schools would then have to begin teaching homosexuality is acceptable. Bet that pesky Darwinism's got you riled up too. Guess what? If you don't like the public schools teaching your children about homosexuality and other realities of the modern world like birth control there are these special schools for you - they're called parochial schools. And any other false truths, like racial and gender equality, that you're not comfortable with? It's called home schooling. Check it out.

My favorite argument, by far, though is that recognizing SSU would cheapen the instiution of marriage because then any Tom, Dick or Harry could get hitched. Really? You find obtaining a marriage license to be such a stringent screening process that only "special" couples can get married? I think Britney Spears' Las Vegas special sort of killed your argument there. Heterosexual marriage is no more special than SSUs, it's the people who make up the partnership who make it so. We all know plenty of crappy hetero couples who are still together making each other miserable, or divorced couples who were not a good match. If you are serious about marriage, regardless of your sexual preference, you will take it seriously. Just ask the Elvis impersonator at The Little Chapel of Love. I'm sure he sees only very serious, committed hetero couples.

It comes down to this: our country guarantees its citizens the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Happiness includes, for most people, finding someone to love and spend the rest of your life with. Gay men and women deserve the same right to build family and to have that family recognized legally, so that each partner has the right, after the worst happens, to keep what they have built together.

Despite this ongoing struggle, I wish my sister much happiness in the future. While we will run across some roadblocks in planning her big day such as, do I throw a Jill and Jill shower, I know she will be just as happy that day as I was the day I married H. And I will know no matter what the government thinks, she and Chrissy will then have the to right to argue over who drives the remote and who didn't replace the toilet paper.

*Props to you if you knew this line was from the wedding scene in Muppets Take Manhattan