Dear Wall Street Protestors,

I am writing to see if I can give you a a bit of advice to improve the effectiveness of your protest. I have three points.

1. Representation. I realize your group is diverse, which is appropriate, since you claim to represent the rest of America, not a part of the white-male-oppressor greed machine. But I propose you be a bit more selective about whom you choose to allow camera time. The sweaty, shirtless, one-armed, midget drummer I saw on the news this morning, was not, perhaps, the best choice of visual to coalesce an army of the financially downtrodden. Many people might have a problem aligning themselves with someone they would cross the street to avoid rather than be harassed for spare change in exchange for the mad beats he's banging out on that spackle tub. Not that I have any issue with his being sweaty (who am I to judge?), one-armed, short in stature, or a drummer. But, generally having your spokespeople be clothed is a good first step.

To quote on of your reps*, "I actually quit my job and got a one-way ticket out here for the protests. I just felt like it was really - in a lot ways, this was the last hope for some sort of real change." You quit a job, to protest that there are no jobs? Interesting. I especially enjoyed the young woman who said, "I'm talking about people who have master's degrees, in a lot of cases, who have to work $8-an-hour jobs because there are just no jobs. My generation - I'm 23 - my generation is really like the lost generation." Isn't an $8-an-hour job a job? Hence, negating "there are just no jobs". She and I need to have a come-to-Jesus about what "paying your dues" means. Or did she think getting a Master's degree in Comparative Lit was going to earn her a corner office right off the bat?

2. Handshake. Some of you feel moved enough to speak to the group at large, or loudly rail against the financial monsters and, wisely, you have decided to conserve your energy and not shout your agreement, but use a hand gesture. Let's look at history, shall we? Some of the most memorable social movements had very strong hand gestures. Look at the Third Reich, and the Black Panthers. Very strong, powerful arms movements there. When you agree with what is being said, you raise your hands above your head and waggle your fingers. You guys picked "jazz hands" as your gesture? I'm starting to see a pattern here. Arm gesture = social movement run by lunatics. Hands down, I think.

3. A clear goal. It helps, I think, to know exactly what is is you want to achieve. Protesting against "greed and corruption" in this country, without having and endgame is like protesting against "people being jerks". Is there specific legislation you have in mind? Certain individuals whose actions need to be addressed legally? In addition, painting all individuals who work on Wall Street with the same brush, is like everyone in this country calling you all lazy, unmotivated, jobless losers who want to blame their lack of success on others, rather than the fact they would prefer to sit in a park and compare tattoos. I'm just sayin'.

Don't let that fact that H works in the industry, or that I believe everyone loves Wall Street when the fast, cheap deals are allowing them to buy shit they can't afford, without reading the fine print, and once the market goes south, and the cash dries up, those same morons are in the streets screaming for blood, filming it all on an iPhone they bought using credit, dissuade you from taking my advice. Look past my belief that demonizing big business is the privilege of living in the wealthiest country in the world and that big business provides many of the jobs you all complain about not being able to get. Is that a cup of Starbucks in your hand? And that fact that I was raised by "have nots" who turned themselves into "haves" by the sweat of their own brows and night school, will not color my views at all.


So if you have any interest in getting organized and not just being the lyrics of Billy Joel's "Angry Young Man" come to life, drop me a line. I run a Girl Scout troop of twenty girls. I figure if I add up all of your motivation, it might equal their energy and we can get some work done.

Sincerely,
MM

*PS- When NPR can't even put a positive spin on this train wreck, you are in serious trouble.