Awards season draws attention not only to great performances, but also to the fashion choices and appearance of the stars of the silver screen. Perhaps, sadly, the latter more than the former for female stars, as the social movement #AskHerMore created by The Representation Project pointed out. At least this year the ridiculousness of the "Mani Cam" was minimized as more celebs spent time answering thoughtful questions about their lives and work than marching their hands down a miniature red carpet like five year-olds with Barbie boots on their fingers.
I realize I sound as if I dislike the fashion component of these shows. Au contraire, mon frère. I start pre-gaming the red carpet coverage right after lunchtime on Oscar Sunday. My Oscar party this year required the attendees dress for the red carpet. I am all in when it comes to red carpet fashion. What I do not like is when fashion and these public situations body-shame women or promote unhealthy ideals in young (and old) women.
Most, or maybe all red carpet commentators, now that Joan Rivers has shuffled off the mortal coil, are aware enough that fat jokes and snide comments about weight don't fly with the audience anymore. They have become enlightened. But still, there lurks among the actresses about to be lauded for their craft, a certain tension, an insecurity. "Pshaw, Mean Mommy! How do YOU know?"
I can tell by the way they stand. You all know what I am talking about.
The Chicken Wing.
Ugh, that pose. Arm bent at almost a right angle, and hand on hip, elbow stuck out to the side. The bright, candy coating of false sassiness so often used to cover up a bitter center of body insecurity.
I hate it.
The idea, of course, is by keeping the arm away from the body, it appears slimmer. Any bat-wing situation is mitigated with the upper arm being turned forward. We have all suffered the indignities of unflattering photos. Well, those of us from the primordial days of (gasp!) film photography. I can so clearly remember the feeling of ripping open the packet of sorority semi-formal photos at the drugstore photo counter, then asking in confusion, "Is that a thigh? Wait, that's my ARM!" The scent of developer mixing with self-loathing as I trudged back to the dorm.
It's not the action of trying to put one's body in the best possible position that bothers me. What bothers me is the falseness. The almost begging for approval from the camera this posture represents with its unnaturalness. We all look frozen - beautiful like Barbie - limbs frozen at odd, impractical angles that really serve no purpose in real life. I can count on my hand the number of times I might have naturally struck this pose in my life. One hand on the hip is usually accompanied by the other and I'm most likely also yelling.
The pose I'd like to see sweep the red carpet next year is The Proud Necklace.* Proud Necklace requires you to stand up straight, throwing your shoulders back, arms slightly and naturally held away from the body, with your chest forward - as if showing off a necklace. Go ahead. Try it. I'll wait.
How did that make you feel? Strong, right? Proud. Like you could kick someone's ass.
Now do the The Chicken Wing. Your chest naturally collapses and your posture goes to shit. You feel weak and like a sissy. Oh, but you look skinny. Shut up. Stand up like a big girl and face the camera like you own it.
Look at these photo of J. Law. Same dress, same night, totally different feeling. She just looks uncomfortable and unsure in the top shot. Well, she's never really all that comfortable with photogs anyway, but still. In the bottom shot she looks strong. You know, like Katniss. Not Katniss's sassy sister.
I have found one actress who almost completely eschews the Chicken Wing, and it's no surprise because she is funny and kicks ass and in my fantasy world she play me in the movie of my life. Sandra Bullock. Sandy is not fucking around on the red carpet. She is a grown-ass woman and she knows how to pose like one.
You will be hard-pressed to find a Chicken Wind photo of Sandy. In fact, I couldn't. Yeah, she occasionally does the "holding-a-clutch-both-elbows-bent" or the "look-at-my-guns-while-I-hold-my-goddamn-Oscar-bitches", but those arm positions look normal because she's, you know, holding something, requiring her arms to bend. Not just the weight of societal expectations.
Men don't put themselves through this vertical game of Twister every time they are photographed. Ok, you have a point, not much of them is exposed. But if they were, would they engage in this Tomfoolery? The only stupid pose men have is that smug-crossed-arm-non-chalant thing and that's only for certain slimeballs on the cover of business magazines. The nice guys just stand there.
Can't we women just stand there? Can't we all agree to this change? Let's make this a grassroots movement. Be proud. Be strong. Be yourself - floppy arms and all. Better to be a confident looking version of your perfectly flawed self, than an insecure replica trying to be someone she's not. If we all stop striking this ridiculous pose at weddings and in Facebook pictures we could change the world.
One selfie at a time.
*Trademark - my trainer Kevin
